The Friday Poem

A poem every Friday

The Friday Poem on 19/05/23

We chose ‘Giving my ex-boss a hand job for £20 (mates rates)’ by Jane Ayres to be our Friday Poem this week because it’s funny, but also not funny at all. It calls our attention to a bunch of things – the power imbalances that exist between people, how hard it can be to make ends meet, the temptation to make ‘easy money’ by selling sex – but it does so lightly, and with a self-awareness that is beguiling. The ending is dead pan and throwaway, and all the funnier for it; Ayres demonstrates great control of tone. It’s a confident poem, economical, and stylish.

Giving my ex-boss a hand job for £20 (mates rates)

His request took me by surprise 
since I’d only invited him round for coffee 

making it clear there was to be no more sex. 
But at the time I was working 4 part time jobs 

to pay my rent and cover the bills.
It really would be easy money 

(I told myself) and I was right
because it took my gloved hand 

just 2 minutes 
to achieve the desired outcome 

– less time than it took to write this poem.
Not a bad rate of pay

and to be honest I wondered if 
he might want to make it a regular 

thing although he said afterwards 
he usually had it done professionally.

UK based neurodivergent writer Jane Ayres re-discovered poetry studying for a part-time Creative Writing MA at the University of Kent, which she completed in 2019 at the age of 57. In 2020 she was longlisted for the Rebecca Swift Foundation Women Poets’ Prize. In 2021, she was nominated for Best of the Net, shortlisted for the Aesthetica Creative Writing Award and a winner of the Laurence Sterne Prize. Her first collection, edible, was published by Beir Bua Press in July 2022. Her micro-chapbook, my lost womb still sings to me, will be published by Porkbelly Press in 2023. Jane Ayres’ website is here.

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